How Harry realy is.
by Hermoine Potter
Summary: Ok crap thats all it is :(
1. Default Chapter Title

Harry Potter and the Sex Change!  
Harry was about to start yet another New Year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizadry. You see Harry Potter was no ordinary boy he loved the school holidays loved doing his homework! He lived with the Dursleys his only living relatives. His mother and father and been killed by LORD VOLDERMORT! The most evil sorcerior ever to be in the wizadry world. Ya da da bla bla bla yada yada! Harry was just about to go into the barier at Kings Cross Station when he heard a sudden yell of "STOP RIGHT THERE!" Harry stoped and saw that a guard had saw him about to smash into the barier. Harry walked up to the guard the guard said "Hi I am Jim My child is about to go to hogwarts I was wondering wether that is how you get to Platform 9 and 3 quarters ?" "How did you know I was from Hogwarts?" " Well I am a muggle and you look like a wizard that's all." "Oh ok yes that is how! Who is you're child?" " See that jumping boy over there he is!" " Oh that boy with the er- purple hair! OK". Harry said goodbye to Jim and went to meet Hermoine and Ron his best friends. When he saw them he told them all about Jim and the boy Jim had told him that the boys name was J.J for Jim junior. They were fasanated by his purple hair! Ron was very surprised that a muggle had such smartness to know Harry was a wizard. " He didn't even point out the scar"Harry said. Hermoine said "J.J sounded cute" blushing. DADADA YA DA YA DA BLA BLA BLA ! "   
IT was the gangs first day of classses. Harry just comes out the blue and says "Hermoine Granger I love you love me to!" Hermoine just looked in shock and said "I love you to Harry as a friend!"   
"No Hermoine you have recked my life waaaaaaaaaaaa."  
Ron just stares and says "Hermoine, Harry is going to be reatarted now!!!!!"  
"Ron no I haven't and retarded isn't a very nice word call them just erer-er-er-er-er-er- well you know!"  
"Harry well to tell the truth I love you too!"  
"Then lets do it like they do on the discovery channel!"  
"Well if you insist"   
"What about me?"sobbed Ron.  
"Go ask Malfoy."  
"Well hopefully he will like what I am going to do to myself!"....................  



	2. Default Chapter Title

H0W HARRY REALY IS 2.  
N/A: Ok the last one was crap but hopefully this is better.  
Harry and Hermoine were walking along Hogwarts on a warm clear day, when who should apear but a girl that they had never seen before Harry and Hermoine let go of each other's hands. "Hello we have never seen you around are you in 5th year?" chorused Harry and Hermoine. "Yes, yes I am my name is Ron-I mean Rowina."  
"Nice to meet you!" Said Harrry and shaking Rowina's hand. "Yes I hope we can become god friends!" said Hermoine happily. "Well Hermoine we bettter find Ron and see what his big surprise is!" said Harry sighing. " Ron, Ron Weasly?"  
"Yes do you know him?" they chorused.  
" Well I know him and what his big secret is!"  
"What?" Harrry and Hermoine chorused?"  
"Well here it is I am Ron I got a sex change to make handsom Draco love me" said Rowina I mean Ron blushing. Harry and Hermoine walked of into the sunset muttering about Ron. They had just left him there blushing what would Dumbledore think of this? Then Harry went crazy like last time and said to Hermoine " Hermoine have you told Krum about us?"  
"Er-er-er-er-er well no sorry he is coming to the castle tomorrow I will telll him. I promise I do love you !"  
"Well I just wanted to do it like they do on the discovery channel. Oh well I will always love you!" They walked back around Hogwarts and then went to the Griffindor Comon room.  



	3. Default Chapter Title

How Harry Realy Is 3!!!!!!!!  
A/N:Ok well the first one was realy bad second was ok third hopefully is good!So could you R/R.If that isn't to hard!!!!!Everyone is sick of Harry and Hermoine at least I've heard so there is a twist in it!!!And I am also starting a new series........ name yet to be reaviled nothing to do with this series so I hope you like the story!  
Plz Exuse the stupid mistakes:(  
  
  
WHERE FOR OUTH THOU VIKTOR?  
"Vell Herm-own-ninny I am very happy to be back vith you and at your vonderful castle!"  
"Thank you Viktor!"said Hermoine blushing.  
"There is something we should talk about Viktor I have to tell you something!"  
"Let me go first I vas so happy to come back here so I could tell you!" "Tell me what Viktor?" "That I think that I am in love vith you and as soon as you leave Hogvarts I vant  
to get married!"  
"Viktor I can't I am in love with Harry me and him are in a realtionship that's why I invited you to the castle but Viktor I am so sorry!"  
"I understand Herm-own-ninny I do there are pleanty of people that would go out with me now goodbye!!!..." Viktor wait".....  
But Viktor run to quickly and the next words he was saying were" so you completely identical twins?"  
Hermoine was trying to find Harry to tell him the news when Rowina aka Ron came up to her and said "Hermoine I jus' visited Draco he said he likes me as a girl but I have got a confession I am jus' wearing a wig I am not gay! Me and Malfoy have never done anything together because I have feelings for you Hermoine!"  
"Oh brother who else does everrybody!!!!!??????"  
"If anyone has feelings for Hermoine raise your hand!"  
Hermoine looked around every hand was up even the teachers Snape walked by and said Hermoine I would appreciate if you would come by my office after dinner and Hermoine you will be staying the night hopefully!"  
So after dinner Hermoine for the first time went down to Snapes office. It was a small room she was about to knock because you could not see in. her knuckle bairly touched they door when the door opened it was hillarious.It had disco lights going around it and music playing saying "You and me baby we ain't nothing but majic so lets do it like they do on the discovery channel"  
Then Hermoine saw Snape laying on his desk wearing nothing but a gee string and had wonderful blonde hair (must wear a wig she thought!)In Hogwarts they say all you could hear that nigt was a squeaky bed and Snape saying "Give it to me Hermoine ahhh" And Hermoine saying Severus Severus!  



	4. Default Chapter Title

How Harry Realy Is 4!  
Chapter 4...............True Love!  
After Hermoine's talk with Severus she went to break the news to   
Harry. That Hermoine was gonna to marry Severus! She went to   
the Gryffindor common room and saw him sitting there. Next to   
Ron!!! As a boy!  
  
"Ron told me what happened yesterday you forgot we had a date   
last night I was up all last night!"  
  
"Harry you must understand I don't love Severus!I have decided I   
love..........."  
  
BANG there was a big bang they turned it was Draco with a gun!  
He had shoot Hermoine!  
  
"Ron this is what you get for leaving me! Your one love you   
called her! I act like a B****** for f***** hell! I was up all last   
night crying then Severus says he is leaving me..."  
"You were dating Prof.Snape and me Draco how could   
you?Honestly for f**** sake!"   
  
"Don't I get a F***** say in this! I loved her forever since I met   
her! I LOVE HER I LOVE YOU HERMOINE"  
  
He went over to Hermoine she was laying on the floor he picked   
her up and started crying then he kissed her but she wasn't dead!   
  
(Hahahahahaha bet you didn't see that one coming)   
  
"Harry...Harry I love you!"Then she was gone forever!  
  
"Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!"....No jus' kidding!  
  
She was not dead she was in a coma!They were now in the   
Hospital wing Hermoine was sitting up and telling Severus she   
would not marry him 'cos of her love of Harry.  
  
"Severus, I can't marry you darling. I decided I can't marry a man   
who hasn't washed his hair for fifteen years!"  
  
"But..."  
  
"Also I don't love you. I don't even like you. In fact I spat in your   
bean soup."  
  
"Ergh..."  
  
"And I'm gonna marry Harry, cos his hair -although untidy- is   
nowhere near as greasy as yours. Besides why marry a teacher   
when I can marry a Quidditch star?"  
  
And so that was the end of it. Snape threw a chair at Hermione and   
failed her in potions for the rest of her life.   
  
Then Snape ran away from Hogwarts and Married a hooker named   
Laura!  
  
Hermoine married Harry and lived happily ever after. Until they   
couldn't afford their 29 children and Harry sold them all for   
scientific experiments.  
  
Draco and Ron made up and got married.  
  
The End!  
P.S Laura's full name is Laura Danielle Castle (LAURA SUCKS!) and she quit being a being hooker and became a brothel owner!And also worked in it!  
  
P.P.S Laura is Cool! She is not a hooker and wouldn't own a   
brotherl if the author of this fic paid her a million galleons!  
P.P.P.S Sorry that was my sis!  
  



End file.
